Фруттис! Натуральный! Что только в ирке не дают o_o
*потупив взор* Чувствую, что хочу провести в жизнь половину пунктов как минимум.
Потому что вторую половину уже...
Отмечаю галочкой что "уже" или "непременно в скором будущем" ^__^
101 Ways To Be Annoying
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. можно и пи-ру-ри!
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." омг, беру на вооружение...
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. просто гы!
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." ^___^ Конгениально!
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace." 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. а это уже =_=
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." +100!!!!
34. Drum on every available surface. угу...
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. А это еще моя мама придумала!!!! Она у меня любит подобные шутки ^^
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. =_= бананы прекрасно ээ... коптятся на сис.блоке! проверено!
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. беру на вооружение)
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. гм...
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards. мм... -__- а что?
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" омфг, я узнаю себя...
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either это болезнь гениев! но у меня ее нет!...
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. ежики считаются? ^__^
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. Верно. Верно?
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. Кульно! В детстве мы этим страдали!
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. o_o
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. х__х
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. Гы!
75. Ask people what gender they are. А это никогда не бывает лишним! Бтв, еще кто-нибудь назовет мя "деффачкой" получит ф глаз.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray. омг. это про меня. не лечится.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. а еще.. даешь елку до дня летнего солнцестояния!
83. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. -_-
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera. ^____^
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." "Этот человек со мной!"
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." не, так неынтыресно! Надо говорить "Химицу дэс"
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." В точечности так! мне оч. нравится так делать! все равно я тв смотрю раз в год.
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Вывод неутешительный : меня уже давно должны были убить доброжелатели
И подарков от Санты я не дождусь!
П.ч. ужасно себя веду, судя по всему =_=
Santa`s coming!!! He's making a list and checking it twice gonna find out who's naughty and nice!
Аргх. И почему китайцев в осле пробивает на общение в основном с утра. Подстава какая-то. До 2 со мной невозможно разговаривать. А тем более получать от меня вразумительные объяснения по теме емульных настроек.
Настраиваю ослика. В любое время дня и ночи. С вызовом на дом, но не дальше провинции Хейлунцзян.
-Хватит, как Локи, бегать взад-вперёд, сядь наконец и успокойся! (с)препод
Готовлюсь (морально) к смерти сессии.
Получается пока не очень. Даже если забыть про сон как необходимость, сдать все эти работы через неделю в срок не совсем реально.
В конспекте по дип.отношениям только список мастрид лит-ры и гордый заголовок Что не является дип.перепиской под которым почему-то настрочено задание по японскому